Dr.W.

"Hi Dr W, I'm calling regaring Mr M - I've been handed over that he will be discharged either today or tomorrow, but there is no solid information regarding this, is he alright to go home today post his doppler scan if they are clear?" It was 11am, and I had nothing better to do than organise my patient's discharge.

"Aren't you leaving?? What are you still doing there?"

"oh for gods sake Dr, I'm not leaving till December! And I only told you I took a new job yesterday! Can we get back to the issue at hand please?"

Most people are too frightened to call Dr W. He is notoriously rude on the phone and often will challenge you for ringing him. I've had arguments over the phone with him that go much like this:
"Im calling re: *insert important health issue here*".
(very rude tone) "Sister, do you really think this is a good enough reason to be calling me?"
"Well yes. Otherwise I would not be calling.."
(tone increases in rudeness) "You know I come in everyday sister, could this not wait till then?"
"Well Dr, it's been 3 days so far since *insert important health issue here* needed attention, you came in yesterday and you didn't do it, so I am calling to make sure you do it today"
"No one reminded me to do it yesterday, sister."
"and thats why I'm calling you Dr. To REMIND YOU." (insert triumphant laugh here).
(defeated tone) "Thankyou sister."
(smarmy tone) "Thankyou Dr".

I've gone so far as to call him smarmy and arrogant, to which he states he is actually cynical and jaded. When he does something I don't like, I tell him I am angry with him and not to speak to me, and people often tell me that no one else gets away with talking to him like I do.

When its 7:20 and im starting my round still bleary eyed and half asleep, he will come in fresh faced.
him: "WELL, GOOD MORNING SISTER! AND HOW ARE YOU TODAY!"
me: "Oh bugger off".

He has the worlds most difficult patients, and usually the worlds most loveable. He will operate when no one else will operate and he takes on very difficult patients with very difficult surgeries.
We have a mutual understanding, that generally involves him trying to piss me off as much as possible, and me trying to persuade him to do things for my patients that he doesnt want to do.
He's an arsehole to almost everyone, and he's one of the characters of the private hospital I work at, that I will most definitely miss.